Since leaving office in 2017, former President Barack Obama has openly discussed how his presidency affected his marriage to Michelle Obama. In a recent discussion with Hamilton College President Steven Tepper on April 5, Obama acknowledged the “deep deficit” he incurred with his wife over the eight years of his presidency.
“I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things,” the former president stated, emphasizing the ongoing effort needed to sustain their 32-year marriage.
The Obamas, married in 1992, encountered unique challenges while raising their daughters, Malia and Sasha, alongside the demanding role of leading the nation. Upon Barack Obama’s victory in the 2008 election, the family moved into the White House when the girls were 10 and seven years old.
Michelle Obama has also been open about difficult times in their relationship. In a past interview with Revolt TV, she noted, “People think I’m being catty by saying this — it’s like, there were 10 years where I couldn’t stand my husband. And guess when it happened? When those kids were little.”
The couple’s candidness about marital difficulties has resonated with many Americans who face similar challenges. They have consistently highlighted that marriage demands continuous effort, particularly during periods of stress or imbalance.
Michelle Obama has previously mentioned the imbalance in their relationship, as she took on more childcare responsibilities while Barack pursued his political career. Despite these challenges, both have stressed the importance of commitment through tough times.
In a 2024 appearance on “The Pivot Podcast,” Barack Obama credited his wife with helping him endure the pressures of his presidency. He described her as an exceptional woman and partner who kept him focused, adding that the thought of disappointing his children was unbearable.
Their openness about relationship struggles comes amid persistent, unfounded rumors about marital issues. However, they have consistently shown their commitment through public displays of affection and mutual respect.
On Valentine’s Day, Barack Obama posted a heartfelt selfie with Michelle on social media, captioned: “Thirty-two years together and you still take my breath away. Happy Valentine’s Day, @MichelleObama!”
Sources close to the couple suggest that the Obamas do not portray their relationship as “magical” but as a real partnership requiring work. Michelle has reportedly shown little interest in attending Washington, D.C., events with Barack, focusing on their post-White House life and personal endeavors.
The Obamas have established a post-presidential life involving various projects through their Obama Foundation and the development of the Obama Presidential Center in Chicago, Illinois. They remained in Washington, D.C., until Sasha completed high school, with Malia later attending Harvard University.
Barack Obama’s recognition of his “deficit” and attempts to address it reflect the couple’s dedication to ongoing growth and adaptation in their relationship. For many Americans, the Obamas’ willingness to discuss relationship challenges adds a human element to a couple often seen as ideal during their White House years.
Michelle Obama has previously revealed that they sought marriage counseling to navigate difficult times, further normalizing the idea that even strong marriages can benefit from professional support.
As the Obamas enter their fourth decade together, their relationship continues to evolve. Their willingness to publicly acknowledge difficulties while maintaining their commitment offers a realistic view of long-term partnership, resonating with many Americans on their own relationship journeys.
The former first couple’s transparency about their marriage contrasts with the often idealized public images of political figures. By acknowledging that even presidential love stories face significant challenges, the Obamas contribute to a more authentic discussion about the effort required for long-term relationships.
As they move further from their White House years, the Obamas continue to balance individual pursuits with their shared commitment to each other and their family, illustrating that marriage, like hope and change, requires continuous effort and renewal.